Have you ever walk into a public places in a foreign country and see a sign written in english?

You probably seen some of these...

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

Sign on well in Slovak mountains:
Dont piss and dont make a shit arround the water stream
Dont cross over the watter stream

A 4th grader was wearing this t-shirt in South Korea:
Our pussys
Our choice

Great lawn sign around the Olympic complex in Beijing:
Tender fragrant grass. How hardhearted to trample them.

Eiffel tower:
The EIFFEL TOWER gets modernized. The direction apologizes for gene caused by these works.

On an add I don't know where...:
Honeydew Bubble Tea... The joys of sucking on balls
bubble bubble bubble bubble

In a locker room in Shanghai:
High Class Bath Room Cock
Made In China

Menu in Clawfish house in Shanghai:
Fuck to burn the crayfish
fragrant crayfish

Candy in Shanghai:
Cool fashion need cool taste. You are the new man. We like the new taste. We nees the quality. And we need the best food. Here you will find what you want.

Menu in who knows where:
Chicken's things fried in the beer sauce

Sign in Bali:
Hindari Narkoba (Means stay away from drugs)
Hide Drug.

Thailand restaurant:
Thai-Express
Worm up your day

Taichung, Taiwan:
Floor Wateriness
Beware Hoof

Sign in a construction site in Indonesia:
Under contraction

Sign in Thailand:
No smoking
No littering
Other wise we will need to perform in legally.

On a canned food:
Cock on the mountain top
Bitter melon in brine.
New

Sign in a hotel somewhere:
Welcome
The foreign guest come to rest room

Hotel menu in Sao Paulo, Brazil:
Piece from leg of the female kid baked the oven. Served with broccoli garlic and oil potatoes ashamed ashamed po.

Bicycle label in Japan:
Ramble
If every jack and gill loves bicycle so much, every road would be so marvelous place

Menu in Japanese restaurant:
Hand Shredded Ass Meat

Menu in Indonesian Restaurant:
Seafood
+ fish
1. Grill fish in banana leaf
2. Fried – crips fillet fish
3. Steamed mullet fish with onions, celery and it ownbouillon
4. Whale fall into the net
5. Tun with blach beans
6. Simmed fish in clay pot
7. Thailand grill fish "style"

Fish store in Arab:
Arab Shat Fresh Fish

Bowling area in Japan:
Winning or losing is not a problem. Enjoying is the most important matter.
Do you like bowling? Let’s play bowling. Breaking down the pins and get hot communications.

Indian traditional treatment flyer:
you are suffereing with any disease. Are not working one your body. Because you are discourage. Lets come to me and get and get healthy. Medicines were cure of your disease we will take mony or gift from you. The se are the diseases we are cured.
Gas trick, stomach pain, acidity, ulcer, urine unable to come, stones are stored in the kidneys, heak, shankroid, senses are weak, sugar, blood pressure, to be come hypertension, lung diseased, 14 types of diseases were cured, women diseases, white dots, egjima, skin diseases, who become marriage and no children will be ger childrens, phyles, liver diseases, elergy, T.B, diseases of lungs, all types of secret diseases were cured from you, wee see the pulese and give the exact medicines, first you have to check the medicines and give the money.
To see the pulse fee 10 RS.
The medicines will be provided by credit if you are present govt. service certificate.

Sign in who-knows-where...:
Please do not see it while drinking drink. The PET bottle caps it and put it in a bag, and please carry it. Please see the thing which the chief does not have after finishing drinking.

On the door of All Nippon Airlines office:
Before you enter office lets wash your hand and gargle in the toilet

Sushi Bar:
All you can it SUSHI
Enjoy

On a shirt:
Step off. I’m having a cunty day, ok?

Japanese add (a brawny guy with a shirt said):
I’m chicken
(and a tag line)
Muscle Judgment

Sign above a fire extinguisher:
Hand Granade

Sign on straw box in a Chinese restaurant:
Sucker

Sign in a temple in Bali:
ATTENTION PLEASE
To keep the sacral and the clean of this temple, so that : for women who are in coming moon is forbidden to enter the temple, is forbidden to climb the building to make dirty the wall of the building. It is not allowed for having sex, and it is forbidden to enter the temple without sarong.
(Note: "coming moon" is literally means "datang bulan" in Bahasa Indonesia, a polite term for "woman's period". But still, using that words are still wrong... XDD)

Chinese-English dictionary:
A new Chinese-Engcish dictionary

Forrest sign in China:
Attack the forest fire troublemaker severely!

Sign in dressing room in Thailand:
Keep thighs in order when change the clothes

Chinese sign:
No sightseeing while walking
No walking while sightseeing

On a permanent marking pen:
Special ingredient of ink, permanent and less effect of pollution, Keep out of children, Convenient to mark, May not be washed if staining clothes incautiously

Warning for no free sex in Thailand. Here's the karma list:
Nature No Free
Mr. J GUARANTEE
… Polite get Son …
Romantic get Daughter
more Romantic get Lady Boy
Free Sex became Dog (on Ko Tao)
Dictator Execution Squad Massacre




*Thank god I'm not the only one with broken Engrish...